THREE WEEKS ON THE EDGE OF PHYSICAL LIFE
MESSIAN DREAD REPORT FEBRUARY 19 2015
It's a lesson which I never seem to learn: writing updates, sharing plans, finding out that things went different. You could do a research project analyzing updates and factual progress on this website. No difference about that when it comes to this report. This time, though, it's truly serious. Yesterday I arrived back home in a taxi after a three week absence and with the prospect of five weeks of recovery and an even longer revalidation process. Yes, indeed: a medical situation. A serious medical situation which -without intervention- would have caused my physical death. The direct reason I'm still here is the fact Jah used some magnificent surgeon and staff, intensive care personnel and a whole lot more medical people to keep this body alive.
In short: I'm out of the hospital, my body is recovering from surgery and situation. I'm unable to do most things I'm used to do, stuff like lifting things and working hours and hours in a row. I've got some serious fractures and wounds that need healing before they will turn into scars during the next weeks and only after that initial recovery will I have to go through a rather intense revalidation process. Yes, it's rather serious even though I'm not in any direct life danger anymore and with some adjustments I can, to quote the surgeon under whose knife I was for many hours, "get old".
At this moment, I can spend some time writing and I'll have to take short walks, but not too much. I get physically tired quite easy, can't do simple things like lifting a thing and even sleeping at night isn't giving the comfort it should give. I'm taking paracetamol 4 times a day to keep the worst pains away which is working wonders. Fortunately I'm a reluctant medicine taker so my body does respond very well whenever I do take a painkiller or whatever.
Exactly a week ago my wife got a phone call from the surgeon, that everything went well and I would soon wake up in the Intensive Care unit in the hospital, surrounded by all kinds of tubes and drains. During the surgery several vital organs went off-line and a machine kept me alive. Quite serious, especially when you're -like me- not used to all these things first hand. I only had a few medical situations in my life and they were all in the previous century. A broken arm, stuff like that.
In the two weeks before I could undergo the surgery, I was in the local hospital where I got the best care I could possibly get. The first week was one full of uncertainty, full of friends and family visiting and encouraging me with moral and practical support. In the second, things worsened and the seriousness of my condition became painfully clear. I had to focus on keeping my body alive and only my wife and father could visit me. I had to reserve every milligram of my mental strength to maintain my own condition, something completely new to me. In the same time I had to accept that I was taken care of, for that very same reason. This was all to keep my body from passing away...
At February 11 I was driven to a larger hospital where I spent the night, woke up at 6 am the next day and went "under the knife" about 90 minutes later. Some 24+ hours further on I was taken from the Intensive Care unit and was driven back to my hometown by ambulance the next Monday, February 16. Jah had blessed me with a quicker-than-average recovery and so I was released yesterday, February 18.
All of this leaves me in this current situation. Truly a time wherein the words "He Maketh Me To Lay Down" translate directly to my current condition, especially where it relates to this work on the Dubroom and "Planet Reggae". I still have to give most of my strength and energy to recovering. I know what I have to do, I have a very strong support base and some of the best and finest medical people to assist me in this process. This is a process, a project in which my body has to get fit so that my soul and spirit can do the things I'm supposed to do.
I'm not afraid for physical death. I've seen death in the face before. In fact, I know for a fact that the only reason I am not with Him in Zion already is because He wants to use me in this physical realm. For what, I don't know. That's not my business. It is my business to keep this body alive in every way possible. This rest and blessing is my drive to stay alive, not the fear of death itself. I wish that very same rest and blessing to you too, whoever you are and in whatever situation you are.
Let me conclude this little report by saying that I do not have any plans other than to do what I can when I can. There is always a lot to do, but I haven't got any idea when I'll be working on what. After all, when my body isn't able to function there's very little I can do anyway...